Married to a Frenchman and having lived in Paris now for over twenty years, Harriet Welty Rochefort is the author of French Toast: An American in Paris Celebrates the Maddening Mysteries of the French, an autobiographical rendering of the challenge of a Franco-American marriage. It is also her personal proof that a culture conversion is no tiptoe through the tulips.
Cultural Differences
Rochefort’s book will elicit groans of vicarious mortification as well as out-loud laughter from readers. She works her way through such formidable subjects as food; the Frenchwoman; sex, love and marriage; money, Parisians, politics, and the French education system with a witty, even self-deprecating voice. The most fascinating chapter, predictably perhaps, is the one dealing with sex and gender, a topic which is much more openly discussed in French society than in American. (Interestingly enough, the subject of money is a more taboo in conversations than sex, a direct reversal of the rules governing American conversation.)
Gender Differences
Aside from a freedom of expression when it comes to allusion and innuendo, Rochefort explains how how much better French men and women relate to one other as compared to their American counterparts. There is a sense of identity; people accept and have appreciation for one another’s roles. Men don’t feel the need to constantly assert their masculinity through machismo. “Frenchman don’t see buying lingerie for their girlfriends as a threat to their manliness, au contraire” (37). Moreover, the Frenchman’s interest in the art of seduction, not domination, and romantic overtures should not be viewed suspiciously. One of Rochefort’s French friends vocalizes the sad truth to her in utter disgust: “‘The idea that a man would take a woman to dinner…and not try to bed her is inconceivable in the States’” yet this is not so in France (36).
As for the female side of the coin, women don’t run around vocalizing about equality and their rights. They know how to exercise their power without America’s brand of feminism, which they view as barbarous and immature. Frenchwomen simply take control, silently, by using their femininity rather than compromising it—something that seems lost on many women in the States. “The sexual tension, the recognition that one person is a man and that the other is a woman, permeates life in France. There is none of this ‘Oh, we’re doing business; we’re all neuter’ stuff,” says Rochefort (37). It is refreshing perspectives like this that make French Toast a worthwhile read for American Francophiles.
Stereotypical?
Criticism of this book has decried its failure to overcome the stereotypes of French culture. However, stereotypes often originate from people’s first impressions, initial short-term encounters with a different culture. Harriet Welty Rochefort has been immersed in a “foreign” culture for over two decades and her book is the product of what one might hyperbolically call long-suffering. It is true Rochefort deals with typical clichés and caricatures, but at least she does so fairly enough to say “the former is of course a generalization…” on several occasions.
Besides, Rochefort’s writing is imbued with a robust sense of humor, and it should not be taken too seriously. Having been on both sides of the cultural fence, Harriet has license to poke fun at both France and America in her good-natured way. She plays with the French stereotype of the American as much as the American stereotype for the French, and even touches on the struggles of living in Paris for those of the Japanese persuasion. (Paris has a large Japanese population.)
A Toast to France
The book’s truly shining moments are the end-of-chapter interviews with Harriet’s especially French husband Philippe, whose acerbic humor is the “toast” of this party. An appetizer from Chapter Two: Harriet: ‘Have you noticed any difference in your eating habits since you married me?’ Philippe: ‘Yes, I’m cooking a lot more’” (19). French Toast provides a sobering look at a culture Americans have so long idealized. Yet even after this whiff of French reality, that romantic je ne sais quoi still lingers in the air, as sexy as ever. As Rochefort admits, she wouldn’t live anywhere but Paris.
French Toast: An American in Paris Celebrates the Maddening Mysteries of the French
Thomas Dunne Books, 1998.
ISBN: 0312199783
Why Not Also Introduce Your Child to Paris, France?
Monica Wellington's children's book Crepes by Suzette, published by Dutton, can be found at her web site.
 |
 |
